11 SECRETS TO FIND LOVE

1# Get to know yourself

Before start looking for love you must first know yourself in depth. It is very important that you know where you come from, who you are and where you are heading. If you do not know yourself, which are your tastes and preferences and if you are unaware of your dreams, it is very unlikely that you can find a person that comes along with you in this wonderful journey called life,that you do it every time you need to remember who you are.

2#Why it is important to know yourself

The reason why you need to know yourself very well
before looking for love or increase your dates is because you need to evaluate your compatibility with the other person.

If you love art and museums but your boyfriend is only interested in baseball or football, he is probably not the one for you. If your dream is to live in a Caribbean Island and go every day to the beach but you meet a woman who hates the sun and the ocean, it is very likely that sooner or later you take different directions.


3# Appreciate yourself


Once you know yourself in depth you have to learn to appreciate and love yourself. Nobody will appreciate you as much as yourself. Appreciate everything about you: the way you are, the way you smile, the way you sing, the way you love. Only by understanding that you are a unique and precious human being, you will be able to really care about others. Every person living on this planet is beautiful and you are one of them.

I have an exercise for you. Take ten minutes in front of a mirror. Watch yourself really close. Try to understand how your fingers, your arms, legs, eyes, nose and your brain work. Then imagine how it would be to live without any of them. I bet that after the exercise you will appreciate yourself even more.


4# Know what love is.
The definition for love is not easy. Every culture in history has had
a different definition for the word but I will try to give a very
wide one.

Love is a deep feeling of affection for someone else. Love usually
comes along with affection, respect, admiration and a constant need
to be close to the one you love. Also – this is very important- love
comes in both ways. You can not be in love of someone who does
not even know you exist. That is most likely to be an obsession but
it is not love for sure.

Love is both a psychological and chemical process. It all begins with
lust. Lust is the initial passionate sexual desire that promotes mating
and involves the release of chemicals such as testosterone and
estrogen. Then comes the attraction. Attraction is the more
individualized and romantic desire for a specific candidate. In the
attraction process, the brain releases many chemicals which causes effects like loss of sleep and appetite and an intense feeling of excitement. For many schollars this stage last no more than 3 years.
After the lust and attraction stages comes the attachment. Attachment is the bond that allows the relationships last for decades. The attachment is reached with the sum of variables such as marriage, children,friendship and common interests.
This lead us to our first premise. If you are looking for someone to love try also to find a very good friend. That friendship creates a very solid and lasting relationship.

5# Know what love is not

Now that you know what love is, you will identify easily what love is not. Your are not in love if the other person does not even want to talk to you. You might be attracted to someone but that is not love.

If you meet a very beautiful girl or a very interesting man, you will probably be attracted but you will definitely not be in love.

Learn to identify the different stages and learn to control your feelings. In that way you will find love a lot easier and you will protect yourself from a lot of unnecessary trouble.

6#Identify the type of person you like
At this point you have to know exactly who you are. Now you will have to find out what is the kind of personality and type of person that you like. This might seem very simple, but an often mistake is to go out just with the wrong kind of people.

Make a list with the specific personality that you would enjoy and love in someone and try to date the people that match your list. If you are the kind of people that love sports, then do not go out with someone that hates sports. It is as simple as that.

In the end the most important is that the person that you choose respect you just the way you are and loves everything about you, the good and the bad.

7# Identify the kind of relationship that you want

This is really important. Before going out with anybody, be clear of your objectives. Make up your mind if you just want to have fun, a relationship or marriage. Once you know what you want, tell the other person about it. In that way both will know what it is all going to be about.

Let me give you another advice: Do not lie. Eventually the other person will find out that you were lying and things will get ugly.


8# Know the facts


If you think dating is hard, let me bring the headlines to you, finding your true love is even harder. Be ready. You will probably get to know a lot of people. Many of them will become your friends. But your true love is not going to be waiting for you right outside your door. You will probably have to kiss a lot of frogs to get your prince or princess, but I sure hope that these tips can eventually make you kiss less frogs.

9# Get the numbers

once you finally manage to talk to the person you are interested in, you have to move fast. Make sure you get the name and the phone number. You will be amazed how many people get in touch with someone they are interested in but then panic, and forget to ask for something as simple as a phone number. In many cases if you let the person goes, you will not have another chance to get a number.


10# Dating

If you feel that you want to ask somebody on a date just do it.
Likewise the phone call, do not over think this. If you want to do it,
just do it.

There is a very wide selection of places to ask somebody out. You
can take someone out to dinner, to the movies, to a game, to a
concert and so on. It all depends on the personality of the one you
are going out with. Make sure you pick a place where the other feels
comfortable. Doing so guarantee that the other will be happy and
relax and so will you.

11# Say I love you

There is not a single most powerful phrase. Use it constantly. Do not be afraid to say it. When you say this phrase with meaning you can stop any fight, you can fix everything.